Hard Hitting Email Copy – We Got It !
The title was :
Nobody wants to be fat and ugly
Which is pretty direct and to the point ! Linking ugliness to being fat is not strictly true (check out a few forums and websites in the seedier side of internet town when you are home alone ) but I guess many people would accept this. Moreover, they might fear it becoming their reality.
Then the actual email starts :
We do not mean a dozen of extra kilograms that turn a skinny person into a plump one. We speak of scores and scores of kilograms that turn people into hideous creatures whose bodies are repulsive and whose lives are hopeless. Every obese person had failed in losing weight many times before giving up. The matter is that diets and gyms work ok but they do not control your appetite! You need a formula that makes your brain stop sending excessive hunger signals to your stomach and melt fat for you. Take it regularly and lose up to 20 kg a month!
Hideous creatures !
Lives are hopeless !
Wow, ramp up the fear and self loathing why don’t you.
Now present a few solutions.
Explain why they don’t work and offer a better solution – the product of course.
Now the wording becomes a whole lot more positive. Big promises.
Melt fat !
Lose up to 20kg a month ! (presumably, you can completely disappear if you take too much of it…is this mentioned in the fine print ?)
They end with a simple call to action :
Try out this product today!
The product is Garcinia Cambogia Extract. The website that it goes to looks very professional and uses most of the persuasion techniques that help people to take action :
Authority – the quote people like Dr. Oz and mention prime time TV programs where the product is mentioned.
Social proof – testimonials with before and after shots.
Incentive and risk reversal – coupon to get free shipping and a guarantee to lose weight.
I’m sure the website does a good job at conversion, but it’s the email that has to get people to click.
Does it work ? Yes. Is it sophisticated ? No.
What do you think ? Would you be moved to click through if you read something like this ?